Monday, August 30, 2010

Me as a Writer

Writing. What is it? Is it a torture chamber for the unsuspecting student? A dreaded end-of-the-day responsibility for a social worker? A favorite pastime for an intelligent person? Perhaps all of these reasons? With these perspectives, only one thing is for certain: writing is different for every person. Perhaps this reasoning is especially true for a simple young adult we shall refer to as Brittany.


As a child, Brittany loved writing. Unfortunately, fluctuating hormones and suspicious situations turned her from the activity as she grew into a teenager. Presently, she is unsure of what ground she stands on as a writer.

By the end of this examination of Brittany’s writing history and habits, we shall answer the following questions: Where did her love of writing grow from? How was she turned from one of her favorite hobbies? And as of today, where does she stand as a writer?

Let’s travel backwards to one of Brittany’s happier eras. As we turn the date to 1995, we catch a glimpse of a small, exuberant 4-year old girl. We see her cuddled with her mother, who is reading the book, “Hop on Pop” by Dr. Seuss. Suddenly, the scene changes as the small girl is now lying on her bed. Instead of trying to fall asleep, she takes her tiny finger and slowly traces a “2” for the first time on her pillow. See her joyful exclamations as she proudly hollers for her mother to see this accomplishment? In the next two years, we see a faithful librarian bringing together four advanced reading students.

Pause. Let’s examine Brittany’s first introductions into the world of writing. Firstly, we see her mother reading Dr. Seuss. This is perhaps the first seed that plants in her heart the love of reading. Brittany loved reading times with her mother and looked forward to them at the end of every day. Even though she wasn’t old enough to understand the words, she recognized that there must have been something wonderful on the pages to produce such awesome stories. Next, the tracing of the “2”. This is her first attempt at writing. As you can see, Brittany already has developed a joy of creating writing characters. Perhaps this is what spurs her on to pursue greater accomplishments? Lastly, the faithful librarian. In these small classes, Brittany first realizes that she has a knack for writing. She learns side-by-side with the 3 other top students.

Now, let’s fast-forward this slideshow to Brittany’s 3rd grade year. We come to Mrs. Taggart. Mrs. Taggart was one of Brittany’s most beloved and remembered teachers. She abundantly encouraged and praised Brittany’s work as Brittany continued to write. Delighted with the attention, Brittany’s young mind realized that she was a good writer, if not the best in her class. Wanting to keep the extra attention, she immediately sought the help of one of her best friends: Jacob Himmelburg. Brittany had the idea to create her own books, but she needed someone to draw the illustrations. The two worked as a pair to “publish” their first book. “The Two Eels” was, of course, a big hit with Mrs. Taggart, who wanted to encourage her students as much as possible.

Let’s step back and take a look at 3rd grade. Brittany’s reason for writing is what set her up for failure from the beginning. Wanting attention is not a bad thing, but as a student grows older, writing only to impress and gain attention can be trying on her love of writing.

We see this in Brittany’s next major interaction with writing. In 5th grade, Mrs. Oilar gives out an assignment to write any random story. Brittany knows that this is what she’s good at, so she get’s the assignment done fairly quickly. In an attempt to gain Mrs. Oilar’s favor, she reads her story out loud to her during recess. Now, in this time of her life, Brittany was first starting to understand how important a big vocabulary is to a good story. This realization led to Brittany to adding bigger and bigger words into her stories, so you can imagine that the story that was written for Mrs. Oilar was chalk-full of them. As she read her story, looking up proudly with every big word she used, Mrs. Oilar would laugh. At first, Brittany thought it was a laugh that meant Mrs. Oilar was impressed by her vocabulary, but by the end of recess, Brittany realized how ridiculous her story sounded. How could a 5th grader be expected to use a large vocabulary?

This was the first blow to Brittany’s writing esteem. She realized that she was a good enough writer to know what sounded kind of adult-like, but she was still young enough that she knew she was not allowed use it without sounding ridiculous.

From this time on, Brittany focused mostly on the mechanics of her writing: her grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. Instead of trying to impress teachers with the content of her story, she tried to impress them with her knowledge of what was correct and not correct.

Her writing style continued like this until 7th grade. Fortunately, Brittany still loved reading more than ever; but one fateful day, that changed too. 7th grade was one of the years Brittany was most influenced by the opinion of others. Her self-confidence was low, and there were few things she felt esteemed in. One of these things was reading. The librarian at San Rafael Junior High favored those who loved to read, but Brittany was not sure she wanted her teachers’ extra attention. When Brittany’s cousin realized that she was liked by the librarian, she called her a nerd. This was an even stronger blow than Mrs. Oilar’s laughing, and the part of Brittany that wanted to impress teachers was immediately shut down. In an effort to throw off her cousin’s nickname for her, she no-longer read books or wrote, except when it was required to earn an “A” in the class. At this point, Brittany’s already declining love for writing took a huge drop. She stayed true to the mechanics of it, but from then on, writing for fun was strictly prohibited. Isn’t it sad that a person could care so much what other people think that they would stop doing something they loved?

Brittany continued like this a little into 8th grade before she began to gain more self-confidence. By the time 9th grade rolled around, Brittany did regain most of the self-esteem she had lost, but she was still a little afraid of being called “teacher’s pet” or “nerd” again. The only remedy to ensure she didn’t look like a suck-up was to make it look like she didn’t care about writing well. So on assignments that had to be read to the class, she didn’t do very well; but on assignments that were seen only by a teacher, she really tried her hardest. She did very well on these assignments, and slowly, her confidence was completely repaired. In 10th grade, she did received a good grade on almost every assignment that she completed.

So in examination of this case study, we have answered the first two questions: Where did her love of writing grow from? And How was she turned from one of her favorite hobbies? But as of today, where does she stand as a writer?

Brittany does not love writing for fun as much as she used to, but it is no longer prohibited. She sometimes does write, and she loves to keep a journal. Instead of declining, her love of writing is increasing. It might take a while, but someday, she hopes to be able to love writing as much as she did when she first traced a “2” on her pillow.

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